We all know the feeling.You love someone deeply. You're committed to every success he has, and every failure he suffers, you suffer with him. When's he's happy, he makes you happy, and when he's down all you want is to stand behind him every step of the way until things start looking up. Hell, he's so good you even scream his name.
But sometimes, that wonderful, giving, two-way-street relationship can go belly up. At some point, his ego gets the best of him. He becomes erratic, temperamental. He stops performing his best, even though you know he has it in him to be better because you've, well, witnessed it. And eventually he commits the ultimate douche move: he betrays you. He breaks your heart, in the least subtle way possible, and makes sure to publicly rub the salt in your wounds whenever anyone pays attention to him long enough for him to get the chance.
And at the end of it all, you're only left with one question: What happened to the Brett Favre I used to love?
Our relationship started as sweetly as any. I was young and naive, and he was successful and perfect. He did things I never thought any man could ever do. He started more consecutive games than any other NFL quarterback. He collected passing records like he probably could have collected underwear, had he not married his childhood sweetheart: touchdown passes, attempts, yards. He has the most wins of a starting QB. When he was named Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year in 2007, I swooned. And he was just so superior to other men. He broke virtually all Dan Marino's records in the 2007 season. And when he got hurt, my heart leapt to my throat. Things like knee injuries and shoulder separations, at his age, could have been the end of everything. He constantly kept me living on the edge.Oh, and I loved his friends. How many women can say that about the man they love? They're great! Ryan Grant, the newcomer. He might have come late in the game but he became our secret favorite from the beginning. He's always on the go; a fast-mover. But we love that about him. Greg Jennings, the dependable one. I'll always remember the Monday night that he stole my heart when he caught an 82 yard pass from my man in overtime and returned it for the game-winning TD. Jennings is definitely not a man who will betray you. You know he'll stick around, at least until 2012 when his contract is up. He's the type who will always have your man's back and be there whenever he turns around. Donald Driver, the high-performer. The best friend. His consistency is a trait that's rare to find. He's a true leader.
And the best part about his friends? Now that he's out of the picture, I'm closer with them than ever.
See, things started to go downhill in the last couple years. We got into a sort of, well, slump. I started to question his loyalty. We tearfully decided to break it off in March of 2008, and I thought, well, that's it. It's over. He would have forever lived on in my mind as a truly great man, someone worthy of a Hall-of-Fame induction. And then, to my great shock and disappointment, he commited his first infidelity: after the whole "it's not you, it's me" speech, he chose another team. He chose another team after the Green Bay Packers, with whom he spent 16 wonderful seasons.
Sure, he asked me to take him back, but I had already found a younger man, the oh-so-incredible Aaron Rodgers, to deal with the heartbreak of his decision to leave. Now, before you call me catty for being super into Aaron, let me just remind you that Brett Favre was a father figure to him, a mentor. And it was the team, which Rodgers had no control over, that made the decision to not offer Favre a place to return but instead bump Rodgers up to QB. Reportedly, Brett Favre hasn't spoken to Rodgers for over a yea
r after the whole thing went down. That's catty. When Brett found out there was just no place for him on the Packers anymore, he did the unthinkable and went to the New York Jets. Um, rebound? Of course they didn't have what he needed (who does?) and I'm not surprised that he began having, er, "problems performing" with them too towards the end. It's that arm of his. Like Helen of Troy had the Face That Launched a Thousand Ships, Brett Favre has the Arm that Earned the Record for the Most Interceptions by an NFL Quarterback. So like I said, I wasn't surprised when he left them too. Good riddance, thought I; but the end was still on pleasant terms: the Jets released him from his contract, and I told him we could still be friends.Well, that was then. Today, it's been confirmed by the Vikings that Brett Favre, indeed, will be trading his Packer-Green and Jet-Green jerseys in for Vikings-Purple. This comes not more than three weeks after he told coach Brad Childress he was staying put in retirement-land for real this time.
Betray me once, shame on you. Betray me twice, shame on you even more and, p.s., you're so in the doghouse. Inter-division cheating? That's like breaking up with me and dating my best friend.
If I sound bitter, I don't mean to be. He was once the great love of my life, and I'll always have great memories of our time together. But now, I don't even know who he is anymore.
Brett, we're so over. And it's not me, it's you.
xoxo,
Michelle.
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