Thursday, July 30, 2009
Welcome to my thought process as I try to decide what this space means to me, and what I hope it eventually means to the people [person? let's hope not] that might happen to stumble across it while searching for, no doubt, if not something far better than at least something far different on the internet.
Well, what do I do when I'm on the internet? And do other people do what I do? And if those people do do what it is that I do, is there any way that their interests may relevantly lead them here? Let's see:
A typical online session (work day):
Well, on work days I do use more discretion in my surfing so as to alleviate some guilt...i.e., on a scale of carefree to flogging, how guilty do I feel about the fact that I'm getting paid for this? So here's how a typical work day surf session can go, as per my stream of consciousness:
~ 9:15 am
1. Log into my Williams College e-mail account, the account I use for most of my e-mail needs. What's this? Orbitz top ten deals of the week? I'm intrigued...
2. Log into Orbitz and begin my anywhere from bi-daily to once-weekly ritual of searching various flight combos from here-ish (here being Williams, as I'm living on campus while I work nearby) to Los Angeles-ish (there being the location that my boyfriend has disappeared to for the summer, as he's with his parents in Santa Barbara). As usual, none of these tickets will fit my slightly unrealistic price range (you can sometimes find coast-to-coast tickets for under $200! Right?)
3. Anyways, from here my idealistic notions of would-be romantic airport rendezvous are crushed, at least until tomorrow morning, so I'll take some time and settle in and work really hard. Log-off time.
4. Ahh, I've had some lunch and done some work, and I'm feeling pretty good. Time to check my e-mail again and see what treasures have arrived in my absence. At this point my inbox probably contains a forwarded spam-esque email from my mum, and since I love her so much she's the only person I'll read them from rather than delete them immediately. Here's a sample gem, from July 28:
It was titled the Banana Test, and posed this little mindbender: "There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel, who pass by. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win?" So apparently you're supposed to pick which animal you think will win. I picked the squirrel, since there are a lot of them on campus and, well, I've seen them in action. And whichever animal you choose is said to "reveal something about your personality." So anyways, I scroll down to see what the squirrel and the banana reveal about me... and am met with an answer key with all the possible animal choices and various insulting "you" statements immediately following (ex. If your answer is squirrel, you're hopeless, etc.) Offended and confused, I scroll down to the bold print: A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS. As if the accusatory bold-face weren't humiliating enough, there's a lovely little animated chimp laughing at you. Perfect. My favorite was the little conclusory "wrap-up" statement at the end: "Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax!"
5. Well, that alluring prod is all I need to feel justified in going back to Orbitz and checking plane tickets again. And this continues, etc. etc.
A typical online session (non-work day):
Ahh, so now I have some real time to kill. Possibly it's a Saturday afternoon, or potentially it's that time between dinner and bed. Regardless, a whole new world [wide web] of possibilities opens in front of me:
Let's say the time is Sunday afternoon, the location, my bed.
1. My weakness. I log into Facebook, and I have 15 new notifications. Probably 13 of them are from quizzes notifying me various things about my various friends "5 of your friends took the 'Which Hugh Grant Movie Are You?' Quiz! See their results!" I can only smile at these though because, as opposed to so many irate status updates (John Smith hates quizzes and wishes his friends would stop taking them! Something that really doesn't affect him at all bothers him so much!) on my homepage, I actually enjoy taking a quiz or two every now and then. Usually these days there's not much else going on there, so I log off.
2. Bored and with time to kill, I'll probably next log into Hulu and watch an episode of the Office or maybe splurge and buy an episode of How I Met Your Mother on iTunes. Let's say, for interest factor, that I choose the latter. Great choice. I'm happy.
3. Watching Jason Segal has not only filled me with glee but made me yearn for more JS-induced laughs, so perhaps now I head over to YouTube and watch everything from I Love You Man trailer to the Dracula Song from Forgettting Sarah Marshall.
4. I log back into my Williams webmail account and, goldmine! J CREW final sale!! And FREE SHIPPING! Experience tells me, nay, shouts loudly at me while holding my debit card out of reach that free shipping is only valid on orders of $150 or more, but I click the link anyway and, yes, I'll have to shell out $150 I never intended to spend to save $8.99 I never intended to spend. I content myself with putting together shamelessly classy and expensive outfits and resolve to find their penny-pinching equivalents at TJ Maxx, Target, and Gap.
Some other various whims I may follow during this day off surfing sesh:
5. NFL.com. What's the latest with Brett Favre? What's going on in my team's (the Packers) pre-season? How much are tickets for a game to see the Pats in the nearby-ish Gillette Stadium?
6. Bed, Bath and Beyond. I have a thing for decorating imaginary rooms.
7. Ticketmaster.com. Will I finally be able to find T-Pain tickets for the general vicinity of my boyfriend's birthday?
8. Abcnews.com. I especially like the photo slideshows and the Health news.
The point of this extensive and revelational chronology of my daily online exploits? Well, let's see what subject matter that I, one person, have the potential to cover in one day:
Orbitz, travel sites, airplane ticket promotional offers, chain e-mails, google-mapping farmer's markets nearby (for fresh bananas, of course), any of the hundreds of ads on the Facebook sidebar that I have to say I'm guilty of clicking (they're SO good at targeting!), Hugh Grant, english romantic comedies, the Office, John Krasinski, How I Met Your Mother, Jason Segal, I Love You Man, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Judd Apatow movies in general, Dracula, Clothing and more clothing, J Crew, Gap, Target, the NFL, Brett Favre, Aaron Rogers, the Green Bay Packers, Tom Brady, Gillete Stadium, football tickets on Ticketmaster, concert tickets on Ticketmaster, T-Pain, Bed, Bath and Beyond, and countless of crazy and important things I could discover on Abcnews (current headlines as I write this: "The Audacity of Hops: White House Preps Beer Summit," "Meet the High-Paid Wives Club," "Family Reunites With Dog After 9 Years," and "K-Fat Leads Pack of Famous Flabby Fathers." Goldmine.
And I wouldn't even say I spend that much time [correction: that much MORE time] online each day than anyone else I know. So, if other people are covering as much and as varied subject matter as I am, then...
...yeah, I'm thinking a couple people might find this blog.
And that's why I don't want to limit myself to a cute theme. Don't get me wrong, themes sell, and are probably pretty tough to stick with. Just look at Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. To have to have THAT many bad dates just to keep your job? Before starting my blog, I'd seen blogs by penny-pinching mothers, to professional photographers, to green crafters, to racehorse enthusiasts...all trying to be noticed. And it worked, because I noticed them. But considering that I'm a well bubbling forth with very, very different ideas and interests, let's hope that scattered thoughts attract some observation, too.
Thanks for reading!