I was going to Williams, and, being three hours from Brandeis, the certainty of our relationship was a bit more unstable. I honestly thought we would make it work, but barely three months into my freshman year, we were over.
Fast forward to Sunday. There I was, sitting in the exact same spot I had sat in four years earlier when I watched Big Relationship graduate from high school. His mom and dad sat on one side of me, his aunt and brother on the other. I was in the exact same place I had been four years earlier...but I wasn't. Everything that possibly could have changed for us had changed between those two graduations; I'm dating L. and am completely in love with him, B. is single for the first time probably since he was 15 (when he first started dating me), he's moving to Portland next year for a job, and I'm planning on moving to Los Angeles next summer. The only thing that remained the same is that I sat there for both of the ceremonies, a little teary-eyed, and thought about our future. In high school, it was the hope we would and simultaneous fear we wouldn't make it through college. Last Sunday, it was the sheer overwhelming thankfulness that we managed to remain best friends after a crushing break-up, and once again the fear that as our college graduations take us further away from each other, he'll be out of my life for good. I couldn't get over the similarities of the two situations, paired with how different they really were. As my friend Andrew said, "You've got to write about that. You just don't find natural symmetry like that in real life."
(Credit: this isn't my picture...swiped from B's facebook.)
Whether our friendship survives the next big change is yet to be determined, but I guess I just want to say how lucky I know I am to still be so close with my first love. Most people think our friendship is bizarre, and it is, but that's why it's so important to me.