Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Graduation and the End of an Era

You guys may remember me mentioning Big Relationship. If you don't just click up on the "Who's Who" tab above to read a little bit about our history. It's a long one, and we've definitely remained as close as we have despite all the odds, but also because of them, I think. Our somewhat-unlikely yet enduring relationship passed another big milestone on Sunday, so I thought I'd dedicate a post to it, as a tribute, of sorts.

Four years ago, while we were still dating and while we, somewhat foolishly but completely earnestly thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, I watched Big Relationship graduate from high school. He was (well, still is, I guess) a year older than me and so the year after, while I would be entering my senior year of high school, he was heading to Brandeis for his first year of college. Thankfully, Brandeis was only about 45 minutes from our houses (okay, okay-- I've done it in 36 and gotten a ticket to prove it), so we were confident that we could make it work. And we did, for a year, until it was time for my graduation.

I was going to Williams, and, being three hours from Brandeis, the certainty of our relationship was a bit more unstable. I honestly thought we would make it work, but barely three months into my freshman year, we were over.

Fast forward to Sunday. There I was, sitting in the exact same spot I had sat in four years earlier when I watched Big Relationship graduate from high school. His mom and dad sat on one side of me, his aunt and brother on the other. I was in the exact same place I had been four years earlier...but I wasn't. Everything that possibly could have changed for us had changed between those two graduations; I'm dating L. and am completely in love with him, B. is single for the first time probably since he was 15 (when he first started dating me), he's moving to Portland next year for a job, and I'm planning on moving to Los Angeles next summer. The only thing that remained the same is that I sat there for both of the ceremonies, a little teary-eyed, and thought about our future. In high school, it was the hope we would and simultaneous fear we wouldn't make it through college. Last Sunday, it was the sheer overwhelming thankfulness that we managed to remain best friends after a crushing break-up, and once again the fear that as our college graduations take us further away from each other, he'll be out of my life for good. I couldn't get over the similarities of the two situations, paired with how different they really were. As my friend Andrew said, "You've got to write about that. You just don't find natural symmetry like that in real life."


(Credit: this isn't my picture...swiped from B's facebook.)

Whether our friendship survives the next big change is yet to be determined, but I guess I just want to say how lucky I know I am to still be so close with my first love. Most people think our friendship is bizarre, and it is, but that's why it's so important to me.


  1. Very, very cool that you two were able to stay such good friends. How does L feel about your friendship?

  2. I think IRL neither of them would be friends, and I suspect that, though they appear to get along well, they mostly tolerate each other for my sake. BUT I think that's how it should be, since I have zero feelings for B. and couldn't imagine my life without either of them.

  3. Aw that's great! I'm glad B and L tolerate each other too. I have a similar friendship with Ex Best Friend. People were surprised to hear he was coming to the wedding but I couldn't imagine him not being there for such a big moment in my life. Cheers to both of you for being mature! And no matter the distance, if you're good friends you'll make it work. Ex Best Friend and I live 10 hours from each other but we stay connected.