Tuesday, July 5, 2011

graduation

So, in part one of this post, I mentioned that I don't do well with change, and I usually dread it before it happens but then move on from it very quickly afterward. The days leading up to graduation were sort of a daze, but I was pretty positive on the day itself I would be an absolute mess.


We lined up and began marching in bright and early, and luckily we were graced with a beautiful (but hot in those gowns!) day.


Most of Williamstown turned out to wish us well along our route.


My best friend (and high school boyfriend of four years) came to see me graduate!


Here's a great one of me and the in-laws ;)



And L. and my family

After all the photo-taking (I ripped my gown off as soon as my high school graduation was over, and so I had to indulge my mom this time around), it was time to pack up and get out. Williams is great, but we all joked about the fact that they put on this amazing senior week and graduation ceremony for us, and then four hours after it's over they kick you out (we were required to be out by 5pm that day). The next couple hours were a whirlwind of packing, and so for the couple moments I felt like a breakdown was coming on I immediately had to focus on something else, and kept pushing it down, and pushing it down. I forced myself not to cry when I said goodbye to my best friend C., who is studying in England for a year.

The one moment that day that got me was when the guys in my suite and I took the following picture. We recreated a cartoon that Andrew had drawn earlier in the year for our newspaper. (The scene is probably some amalgamation of us watching a football game and/or playing video games).



You can't really tell in the real-life picture, thankfully, but I completely lost it at this point. It only lasted about 5 minutes (because I had more packing to do), and then, strangely, I didn't cry for the rest of the day (or at all since). I drove home in my car alone and my dad, mom and brother followed behind, thinking the time to myself would help, but I just felt sad in a quiet way I've rarely experienced. It's definitely been the first time in my life that I haven't over-dreaded the upcoming change and then adapted within a couple days. Maybe it's because I don't have a job yet, and am sort of feeling a little aimless and unsure of what to do with myself. L.'s working now, so I spend the day grocery shopping, working out, cleaning, and exploring the city--which should be a great life! But I think until I start doing something that keeps me as busy and as engaged as Williams did, I'm still going to feel this strange disquietude.

On the upside, I do have a lot of fun posts written about our first couple weeks in LA, and I can't wait to share them with you guys!

2 comments:

  1. aww I love the cartoon and picture recreation, how sweet! I love that you and L are all snuggly like in it too.

    I'm familiar with that feeling of disconnect. I actually had a terrible time adjusting to "grown up life" right after graduation. I was working full time at a terrible job and it just plain sucked. Also most of my friends were still in school or working part time jobs and didn't have the same level of stress that I did. So enjoy these blissfully stress free moments you have right now. It is so nice that you have that time to settle into your new city.
    Looking forward to catching up on your summer through your posts. :-)

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  2. CONGRATULATIONS on graduating!! I'm sorry I'm so late in saying that. I understand what you mean about being upset by change and having a sort of void after college. It is really unique time in your life, but there are so many more exciting fun things to come. Some things you won't see coming and one day you'll wake up and realize that while college was a really important and special time in your life, your life after college is just as full of challenge and excitment. :) xo

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