Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Creepy, Random, or Otherwise Notable Keyword Searches

I've seen other people do posts in which they list all the strange and sometimes gross keywords that people apparently use to get to their blogs. Although, I suppose the weirder the things you blog about, the weirder the people that find their way to it. My keywords aren't particularly weird or gross, but some of them are amusing, and I've been wanting to do a post like this for awhile and so cultivating my keyword list, waiting for the right moment.

Oh, and if you got here using these keywords...well, welcome!


Okay, here we go! Please note that I've kept all spacing, punctuation, and capitalization (LEARN TO USE IT, INTERNET BROWSERS!) completely intact.

1. "things i said land meant tos ay"

This is not the name of my blog. Maybe in the Netherlands?

2. "aim: michellewthonel"

Okay, well, that is indeed my aim screenname, but I'm not going to lie, kind of creepy! I don't know what searching aim screennames really turns up, but I hope you found what you were looking for?

I guess now you guys can all chat me up on aim...

3. "'hanging out' nick friday chelsea -handler -clegg -clir"

I won't lie...I have NO IDEA what this means. Let's try to figure it out. Clearly this person wanted the phrase "hanging out" to remain together, because god forbid his or her search result turned up "hanging chelsea handler" or "out nick friday" or any other combination. It's also possible that this individual is skeptical of the "hanging out." Maybe, his or her friend Nick said that he was "hanging out" with Chelsea Handler on Friday, and this individual wanted to find web authentication of that. But I'm not really sure, then, what "clegg clir" means. And what are those hypens? I know people with the last name "Clegg." But no Nicks.

Any ideas?

4. "i met justin long"

Yes, I did.

5. "justin long old forge"

This one may seem cryptic, but it's not. The Olde Forge is only the most awesome wing-and-beer place in the world, and we go there a lot. Once, we went with Justin Long. And it was awesome.

I'd also like to take this moment to thank Justin (JLo, as my friend Rachel hilariously took to calling him) for bringing so much traffic to the ol' blog.

6. "things to make a fraternity house room awesome"

Well, to be fair, I did post about how I am going to live in a great row house next year, but it is NOT part of a fraternity. We actually don't have any, nor sororities. "Puh. We look down our nose at Greek life." (That was the Williams Administration. Not me.) But I am going to live in a row house, which I suppose was once-upon-a-time a frat house, and I'll definitely be posting on things to make a fraternity house room awesome. Maybe not in the way this gentleman is thinking, though...

7. "what is meant by 'social life?'"

Oh dear. If you don't know the answer to this one...I'm not really sure how to help you. I'm also not really sure my blog is the place to find the answer?

8. "what is meant by 'things?'"

Clearly this person is going through some sort of existential crisis. And honestly, I'm not even really sure what is meant by "things." That's one of the first rules they teach us in English college-- don't use the word. It doesn't mean anything. So I guess that's your answer?

(And I obvi. use the word. It's in my blog title, for pete's sake. Bad English major.)

(Who is Pete? I've always wondered that.)

(Just googled. Pete is St. Peter. How inapprops.)

9. "romantic airport"

I love this. I have sort of a thing about romantic airport reunions. In fact, it is one of my favorite things. I think airports are simultaneously the happiest and saddest places in the world, second only to hospitals.

10. "video of when Dwight says im ravenous after an Night of love makng"

Aside from this horrific spelling, can this person please just email me? And be my friend? Because I love you.

Oh, and I did post about the Office wedding, obviously. So this isn't as random as it seems.

11. "things to say at a family reunion"

Oh, Google-searcher. How I feel your awkwardness. Unfortunately, as you might have found in my posts on the subject, I am so awkward at family reunions, and tend to cling to my mother all night. So I don't think I'm the authority you're looking for here.

12. "things the groom is meant to say"

With this one, I can't be sure if the groom himself is doing the Google-searching, or if a wary bride is fearing that her man will muck up her special day. All I can say is this: say "love" and "forever" a lot and I think things will run pretty smoothly.

So, there they are. I think this is so much fun, so as long as people keep being weird (please do), I'll try to keep doing them.

Or maybe I have to post about some more weird things in my blog to rake in the gems. Umm. We'll see about that.


  1. Aww one of your searches is a sad little soul, "what is meant by social life". Makes you wanna hug them doesn't it?

    My favorite keyword search for my blog was "lingerie shower activities blog" haha. Somebody was looking for porn and was sorely disappointed by my bridal shower posts! :-)

  2. I don't ever get awesome searches to my blog. I think my funniest, and I use that term loosely, was "kindergarten glasses" which makes NO SENSE to me. But whatever.

    These are hilarious and I was totally LOL-ing about "What are things". Hehehe.

  3. That is hysterical. I haven't checked ours in a while. Need to get on that!

  4. @Date Girl: I know!! Poor guy. Or girl. Is it wrong I assumed it was a guy?

    Bahah that's a good one!

    @Stephany: Haha what are those??? Glasses made for wee kindergarteners? Or drinking cups you use in kindergarten?

    @Kristin: Definitely! Do a post on it!

    @Mara: I use Stat Counter, which shows me all the places people come from to get to my blog, all the keywords they use to search it, etc. I also use Google Analytics but that seems to always crap out every so often.