The Mysterious Case of the Missing Toiletries

The morning started out like any other morning. I mysteriously woke up five minutes before my alarm was set to go off (I do this every morning, even when my alarm isn't set to go off at the same time every day) and peeked out the window to see gray skies. Typical Williamstown summer. After 10 more minutes of bemoaning, inwardly, the plight that is the 9 to 5 work week, I stumbled into the bathroom and went to my shelf, where I keep my showering items. When I didn't see my shampoo on the shelf I stared at the empty spot, befuddled, for a few moments, as my poor hazy mind was not yet at a point at which I could comprehend this unexpected disappearance. When it finally dawned on me that someone may have run out that morning, grabbed mine, and left it in the shower by mistake I nodded to myself, pleased I had solved the mystery, and grabbed my conditioner and shaving lotion (Raspberry Rain...the best) and headed into the shower where, much to my distress, I did not in fact find the mate to my Pantene Nature Fusion conditioner.

Frustrated and at this point running late for work, I sleepily stomped back into my room (it's quite unconvincing, this sleepy stomp), grabbed a Post-it, and scribbled a note which read as follows: "Could whoever took my shampoo please put it back? It really sucks to get up for work in the morning and have the entire day thrown off by greasy hair. Thanks!" Not passive-aggressive and with a little touch of ironic humor, which I always love. And the ever-friendly exclamation point, I hoped, took off any touch of bitchiness. I then attempted to wash my hair using only conditioner (note: this exacerbates the problem) and ran out the door to make it to work on time. The missing shampoo, itself, isn't that big a deal. It's only $4 (and believe me, it's one of the best shampoos I've ever used at one of the cheapest prices), which was good--if it were expensive Salon shampoo (Redken in the red bottle is my favorite, but sadly only a rare splurge brings it to my bathroom shelf), I'd have a whole 'nother issue to be concerned with, which is of course I don't have $25 to replace my stolen Redken shampoo. But aside from having to go out to the store tonight and buy another bottle of shampoo, the situation is not dire, by any means, and is at most inconvenient. My bigger question is really, who does this?

Ahh, the joys of communal dorm living. I'm sure, on a smaller scale, we are all probably guilty of some kind of bathroom theft. Sure, if I've just run out of toothpaste and before I can go out to buy some more, it would probably be a good idea to brush my teeth, I might steal a pea-sized amount from a neighboring tube. For men I'm sure there's the occasional Shaving Cream Heist, where dry-shaving just isn't gonna do the trick. (Although I will say that in these bathroom samplings, although I think many items such as the two above are probably pretty commonly borrowed, I would hope people are never borrowing or sampling my toothbrush, razor, Neti Pot, eye makeup, lip balm, etc. Have some shame). But if people are apt to do this from time to time, and that's normal, who is the brash individual who walks in one morning, runs out of shampoo and decides to physically remove another bottle from the bathroom? Did they really think that I wouldn't notice that my shampoo has gone AWOL? Did they assume I'd conjure up a memory of using the last of it, and tossing it out (not to mention conveniently forgetting about going to the store to pick up some more)? I'm just amazed at the audacity of those that I share my living space with. I've heard of some other pretty bold moves on campus, while there are others that you come to expect and prepare for; i.e., if you leave your delicates in the dryer past cycle time, chances are when you come back to collect them some random guy will be pawing your lowkini, and especially on this campus, if there's a bike without a lock it's fair game (although I don't understand how these people expect to ride it around campus and not come face-to-face with its sad, foot-bound owner). But someone just taking--not borrowing, but snatching--my shower stuff? I honestly didn't expect it.



[Images from Makeup and Beauty Blog, Deviant Art,]